Well...its here...the day I've been dreading most for the the last two years but more in the last year...the day marking the end of my junior year. Sounds silly right? I dread this day more than the last day of my senior year thats to come, and I can say that pretty confidently. The memories I have built with the seniors this year have been life changing and really just the memories I have built with everything this year has been life changing. I have seen love on so many different levels, from up close from far away, its been beautiful to witness.
I am super sensitive as well all know so the past two weeks have been tormenting me, I go to lay down at night and just cry...at first it was mainly because I was sad, then at some point I think I got angry, and now its tears of joy, honestly. I find myself in certain situations or moments where if God allowed us a pause button, even for a minute more I would press it. I do worry a lot, and I hate it a lot but lately it has been a little of that and a lot of living in the moment and just soaking it in. We all hear the phrase that pictures are worth a thousand words but I think a snapshot of my life would be worth way more than that. I have constantly stopped myself and literally thought, "Is this real life?" And almost didnt believe it because boy it has been so good. I do my best to capture the friendships I have within my blog or display some of my life or thoughts but its hard to do when you have amazing people and things in your life. God is so good and powerful and that itself has hit me hard this semester.
When things were sticky with the situation with Helen who wasnt going to be able to come back here to Gardner Webb... I joked around saying I never fully understood what "prayer without ceasing" really meant...I say that I joked but real life, I really have come to grasp this and I for a long time didnt think it was possible. Whether it was praying for the Helen to stay at Gardner Webb or my next Hebrew test, I constantly found myself in constant prayer this semester. I pray for these amazing people that surround me everyday, I pray for my family every day, I pray for people I dont even know, I pray that God would keep showing up like He did this semester because I can actually see it and feel His presence.
One of the biggest things that has helped me in all this is in the relationship with one of my friends, surprise! But really...I have had good friends, great friends, and when I felt like those people need to go up even more of a level, Ive had best friends but this one tops it all. It is a friendship that brings out the most important things to me, the most important is my relationship with the Lord. I have always found myself taking one step forward and then two steps back because I got scared or something didnt go my way but everyday I am looking to step forward and I'm challenged in it, whether its through simple things or really really tough things.
Blah blah blah I could go on forever cause frankly I am kind of freaking out. Goodbyes are not my favorite, of course of course "see you next year" is always an option but in this moment it still is goodbye because something will go away and something new will come back. Not saying there is going to be a drastic change and things will end but we are constantly moving through the seasons and changing as we keep on growing.
So...goodbye, for now? :)
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