Well...I am sitting here in the coffee shop listening to some peaceful jams with the roll of thunder in the background. I have quite a bit of homework to do, clearly taking a break from that right now, I feel like I spend most of my time in silence wrapping my brain around so many other things, the last thing I want to do is wrap my brain around some business statistics. Currently regretting waiting to get caught up on this homework so what's another hour at this point. I'll do it for those of you who question my academic ability! Dont worry!
I havent blogged since I have been in Columbia, first because I am now back in Shelby for the summer, long story and second because I havent been able to put complete thoughts on paper in a while. This past week was good, it was easy and normal, lots of laughter which I cant complain about. I got to hang out with my friend Sara Plummer and Helen, have I mentioned that I miss being at Gardner Webb this summer, I do? Sometimes I feel like I overdo my excitement for being back at school because most wouldnt see it as real life because its school and it only lasts so long but its real to me...It creates real moments, real friendships, and displays the real me you know? I have missed late night conversations, I have missed eating meals with people I love, I have missed adventures, I have missed my twin size bunk bed with a roommate who sometimes gets frustrated with my absurd life...ahh I miss it. I'll be done now but had to get that out of my system. I just got a nice piece of that this past week that it filled my little heart up with joy.
Been laughing a lot at myself lately because it doesnt matter how good you feel in certain times there is always going to be something to learn, you know? Like, sometimes I think we get to a point where we just feel so good that we feel like we dont need anything else at that moment, that we only learn in the hard times because that is when it hits us the hardest. But life really is one big learning experience...haha dont get me wrong, this is an obvious statement and I have realized it plenty of times, just been pondering it for a while lately because I am constantly learning.
Along with the laughter I would be lying if I didn't say there has been a great deal of sadness as well...cried a lot in the last week and a half because I am sensitive anyways and when I am lost and not sure of what's next I completely break down. When it comes to summer time I feel like I just do a great deal of waiting and boy am I an impatient person, it is SO HARD! This is the season where I have to slow down, listen, learn, grow and then I am allowed to move on, ughhhhh. Can this be where I pout and go but whyyy God? Not cool. Haha heres the thing, I can be completely sensitive and irrational because I dont feel like its fair if I dont get this opportunity like the rest of the world, but I am completely self-aware and then cant pout for long because I know in the back of my mind I am wrong and God is right...maybe its a little competitive spirit with the Man...maybe I should pick a different opponent haha. Kidding! Today I am feeling at peace with it all so I wouldnt change anything about my life. We all would like to speed up our processes but everything happens for a reason, right? ;)
I am also just feeling extra happy right now and excited deep down because I have been thinking about what its going to look like going back to Gardner Webb. I spent the last two years being anxious and overly excited to see my older friends, who were seniors last year and now that they have all graduated, its weird. I used to think what would I have to be excited about after they were all gone, seriously I used to be miserable just thinking about it. But God brought those people into my life during that time for a reason and they taught me so many things and now I am going into my senior year without them physically next to me but so close to my heart and my excitement is for all the underclassmen, people I love so dearly and at one point in my life didnt think the friendships I have with some of them would ever exist. So thankful. God is good. And I cant wait!
Alright...I could keep going but looks like I need to do work now... maybe :)
Love you all!
