Well to start today has just been a great day, literally have not been able to stop smiling because today has just been one of those days where a) really needed some love b) really needed some quality best friend time with miss helen darden and I got both of those things times a million.
I recently moved to Columbia with Helen to work at the YMCA with her, I was and am still pumped about it but I would be lying if I didnt say I had major anxiety about it all to the point where I practically quit only having done it one day. The day I decided that I wasnt going to work there I stayed at home and cried all day because I wasnt sure if I was making the right decision. I talked to a couple of my friends and one which encouraged me to make a pros/cons list for staying. After doing that I got slapped in the face because I knew that my pros were outweighing my cons. Then I did my quiet time where it talked a lot about sorrow and trials and to know that no matter what we face God will always be by our side. Not that I dont know this but because I had been so anxious about everything I was a bit blinded in this. Clearly, I would be dumb to leave simply out of fear and anxiety.
One of the things that I questioned most about being here was the affect it might have on my friendship with Helen. I am all about my friends and would never do anything to risk harming friendships in any way, granted I know there are going to be decisions in life that I have to make that may affect them but with this I just felt it was a little summer job that was not worth the friendship we have built in the past year. Being here for the first few days we barely talked which was and is hard because I know it will happen more, because while I was home I got a text message to start my day and a text message to end my day so with that there was always something to hold on to and it was great. Also being here we live with her sister and when we are around our friends I am her best friend and here family comes first, which is great I am a strong believer in that but I do play a different role at times which has been interesting to work with. Yesterday when I was thinking and praying about things and weighing my options, the thought that I would be willing to pass up the opportunity to be around my best friend all summer was insane. Instead of seeing how many negatives could occur from being here I tried to seek the positives...this is what I came up with:
1) I get to see my best friend do what she loves and I get to see all these crazy kids even ones she doesnt know get soo excited to be around her, I wish you could see their faces when they see her, its cute
2) I get to go through new challenges and new experiences with my best friend by my side at the end of the day
3) No matter how the day goes at the end of the night I still get snuggle up next to her and if we dont have real talk, I am comforted just knowing that Im next to such an amazing person
4) I get the opportunity to grow in ways that I probably would never have pushed myself to do but thats another thing I love about Helen, the Lord gives me strength to do the things I am supposed to do and Helen motivates me everyday to make sure I do those things
Really I could go on and on because thats how good of a day its been. Its been fun because since we have become friends I have never erased a single text message on my phone and we have been going through them all day and its been so funny to read them. It has made me even more thankful to have someone like her in my life because she along with many others have put up with so much and I am so blessed.
I will stop rambling now. Love you all so much!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Real Life-Ring Them Bells
Been missing my blogging lately so thought I would share a few thoughts real quick before I grab some dinner. Lately there is this song I have been obsessed with called Ring Them Bells, performed by Natasha Bedingfield but it was originally a Bob Dylan song.
I love this song for many many reasons that I wont go into right now but I will say look up the lyrics and maybe look into the meaning of the song as a whole its pretty cool. I just sit and put this song on repeat because it just gets my wheels spinning, so many emotions going through my mind from happy to sad to angry because basically this song is just one big wake up call for the world.
Today we went rafting down a river which if any of you knows how that goes, it takes many many hours haha its peaceful and kind of hot but you have no choice but to keep floating because there is no turning back once you start... which sometimes stuff like this is cool. Choices are always good but sometimes in life given only one choice allows us to accomplish and do things we never thought we could. I dunno...just a thought. Anyways with something like floating down the river you just sit in an inner tube and have conversation with people your with or just sit and think.
Personally, I think and reflect. I love nature and the beauty of all it. I would just keep looking up to the sky watching the clouds roll by, the sun go in and out of them, see the trees sway with the little bit of breeze there might be, its just so pretty. I laughed a lot in my head at some people who were just out on the river to get swasted, I was thinking they probably weren't thinking too much about the trees and the clouds which is fine but I do believe they were missing out, they didn't quite get to see the big picture of it all.
Ultimately thats why I love this song, it depicts the world that we live in, the big picture of it all that many of us are just so blind to. The world is full of so much beauty that is constantly covered up by hate, crimes, just a bunch of dumb stuff that shouldn't even matter. Really I could just keep on going but thats my spill for the day.
Much love.
I love this song for many many reasons that I wont go into right now but I will say look up the lyrics and maybe look into the meaning of the song as a whole its pretty cool. I just sit and put this song on repeat because it just gets my wheels spinning, so many emotions going through my mind from happy to sad to angry because basically this song is just one big wake up call for the world.
Today we went rafting down a river which if any of you knows how that goes, it takes many many hours haha its peaceful and kind of hot but you have no choice but to keep floating because there is no turning back once you start... which sometimes stuff like this is cool. Choices are always good but sometimes in life given only one choice allows us to accomplish and do things we never thought we could. I dunno...just a thought. Anyways with something like floating down the river you just sit in an inner tube and have conversation with people your with or just sit and think.
Personally, I think and reflect. I love nature and the beauty of all it. I would just keep looking up to the sky watching the clouds roll by, the sun go in and out of them, see the trees sway with the little bit of breeze there might be, its just so pretty. I laughed a lot in my head at some people who were just out on the river to get swasted, I was thinking they probably weren't thinking too much about the trees and the clouds which is fine but I do believe they were missing out, they didn't quite get to see the big picture of it all.
Ultimately thats why I love this song, it depicts the world that we live in, the big picture of it all that many of us are just so blind to. The world is full of so much beauty that is constantly covered up by hate, crimes, just a bunch of dumb stuff that shouldn't even matter. Really I could just keep on going but thats my spill for the day.
Much love.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Real Life-Surprise!!
So I love love lovveee surprises...
most people dont. i get it. but there is something that really gets me going when i know things that in the end will make people really happy. and its fun knowing than and then watching them actually respond that way. haha well most of the time it turns out good... :P
Today I got to surprise my friend Caroline who is going on a trip to Seattle at the end of this week. She had to raise all the support to be able to do this trip and the last time I was with her she still had about $400 to raise...I asked her just last night how much she had left and she said about 200-300, from that I couldnt hold it in. Several friends and I got together whatever we could to help her make up what she had left...thankfully I was able to tell her that we covered $150 of it! She was so excited and it made me so excited.
Big things I have learned this year are 1) the importance on acting on what I believe in and 2) the importance of community and 3) the importance of putting those two things together. I believe that everyone should live their dream, whether it is being able to stay at the college of their choice or go to Seattle for a month. Nothing should limit those kinds of things, not fear, not money, not someone telling you it cant happen. Before this past year I would easily say that there are things that are just simply impossible, but now I feel like nothing is impossible. When people say nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it, they sure arent lying. Really I could go on and on about the things I have learned but we can save that for later...now some more about Caroline and her trip!
She will be there for a whole month working in the prisons and with homeless people. How cool is that? I remember a few of the first conversations we had she expressed how much she loved working with homeless people and such...I dont know about you but not a lot of people have a passion like that and its so cool to see her be able to work in that this summer especially because I know it is going to be a great experience for her.
SO...my people, be praying for her over the next month. Pray that the Lord will guide her and give her strength in this chapter in her life and that He would continue to do great things through her and for her.
Love you all!
most people dont. i get it. but there is something that really gets me going when i know things that in the end will make people really happy. and its fun knowing than and then watching them actually respond that way. haha well most of the time it turns out good... :P
Today I got to surprise my friend Caroline who is going on a trip to Seattle at the end of this week. She had to raise all the support to be able to do this trip and the last time I was with her she still had about $400 to raise...I asked her just last night how much she had left and she said about 200-300, from that I couldnt hold it in. Several friends and I got together whatever we could to help her make up what she had left...thankfully I was able to tell her that we covered $150 of it! She was so excited and it made me so excited.
Big things I have learned this year are 1) the importance on acting on what I believe in and 2) the importance of community and 3) the importance of putting those two things together. I believe that everyone should live their dream, whether it is being able to stay at the college of their choice or go to Seattle for a month. Nothing should limit those kinds of things, not fear, not money, not someone telling you it cant happen. Before this past year I would easily say that there are things that are just simply impossible, but now I feel like nothing is impossible. When people say nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it, they sure arent lying. Really I could go on and on about the things I have learned but we can save that for later...now some more about Caroline and her trip!
She will be there for a whole month working in the prisons and with homeless people. How cool is that? I remember a few of the first conversations we had she expressed how much she loved working with homeless people and such...I dont know about you but not a lot of people have a passion like that and its so cool to see her be able to work in that this summer especially because I know it is going to be a great experience for her.
SO...my people, be praying for her over the next month. Pray that the Lord will guide her and give her strength in this chapter in her life and that He would continue to do great things through her and for her.
Love you all!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Real Life-home is where the heart is...
I just had to share the song I have recently been obsessed with...literally...
Its called Home and its by the guy who won American Idol this year, Phillip Phillips...look him up!
Heres the lyrics:
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
I love it for many reasons. Phillips voice is amazing and the song mmm just gives me goose bumps ALL the time. I also just love the lyrics in this because I feel like at some point in our lives we get to a place where we feel lonely or just unsure of what is to come next and in the song just tells us hey, give it time, dont worry, cause no matter what you'll find the comfort of home wherever you are.
It makes me think a lot about college in general, whether it is beginning college as so many people are graduating high school right now, or during college, or even life after college. All of those times we find ourselves fearful and pulled away from our "homes." In the last year it has been a beautiful thing to see several people hate to leave their actual homes and come to school or just not being able to find a place right away but over time they found a new home at school. And then watching so many seniors graduate, some really sure of what they were gonna do and some not so much but knowing that wherever they go, they will still find home.
I dont know, I am kind of rambling but really I just love this song a lot. On repeat as we speak. Check it out!
Its called Home and its by the guy who won American Idol this year, Phillip Phillips...look him up!
Heres the lyrics:
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
I love it for many reasons. Phillips voice is amazing and the song mmm just gives me goose bumps ALL the time. I also just love the lyrics in this because I feel like at some point in our lives we get to a place where we feel lonely or just unsure of what is to come next and in the song just tells us hey, give it time, dont worry, cause no matter what you'll find the comfort of home wherever you are.
It makes me think a lot about college in general, whether it is beginning college as so many people are graduating high school right now, or during college, or even life after college. All of those times we find ourselves fearful and pulled away from our "homes." In the last year it has been a beautiful thing to see several people hate to leave their actual homes and come to school or just not being able to find a place right away but over time they found a new home at school. And then watching so many seniors graduate, some really sure of what they were gonna do and some not so much but knowing that wherever they go, they will still find home.
I dont know, I am kind of rambling but really I just love this song a lot. On repeat as we speak. Check it out!
LOVE YOU ALL!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Real Life-finding normalcy
well last week was long, had great great moments and really low moments. i guess moments in life are what create who we are though right? I am thankful for all of last week even though wasnt sure how I was going to recover at one point. been struggling being home mainly in the dull moments when i sit home alone with nothing to do because i think too much and I am not used to being still that long. kind of makes me go crazy to say the least. i miss my friends a lot too because with friends its easy especially in a community of believers where we are all seeking to be christ like and serve each other in many ways.
something that i do cherish though about being a part from people is being able to realize how much you do appreciate and love each individual for the special things they all bring into your life. just like when you are away at college and your family is what you miss most because of little things that while living there you always overlooked or took for granted. its cool and fun. of course nowadays we have all this glorious technology that still lets us be in touch with each other whenever we want, sometimes its a blessing, sometimes it works against us. i admit i enjoy it because lets be for real, probably wouldnt make it without it but sometimes i just want to be next to that person, have a real conversation sitting next to that person, not just be a text message that may or may not interrupt whatever that person is doing...sometimes i just dont enjoy it at all.
this past week helen went on a family vacation and we decided to not speak or text i guess you should say the whole time she was away. ok heres the thing, this is the person i see and talk to most in my days...so with that i knew it was going to be so hard but i figured it wouldnt be half bad because me and chels were going to road trip it to raleigh for a couple of days to see lydia so i knew my mind would at least be able to get away somewhere. of course there was divine intervention and our road trip got cancelled.
no babysitting jobs. no friends around. everyones at work. cut myself off from one tree hill haha. good news though I MADE IT! it was hard not to talk to helen but we both agreed that it made us both appreciate other a lot more and so that was cool. and while she was away i wanted to try and use that time to really focus on some things. before she left we had a couple conversations on making sure we were focusing our attention on the Lord and not just our friendship, something that we both can easily sway away from. also in the back of my mind that week I just kept thinking of what Chelsea might say, she has always been one to remind me to find joy in being still. So I just devoted a lot of my time to the Lord last week and just let Him speak to me in anything I happened to be doing that day.
I for once used my thoughts in a good way I guess you could say...I didnt allow them to work against me this time and it was cool. For me its easy to appreciate the good when I feel like the moment is perfect and a lot of the times when I am sharing it with someone I love. But this past week I got to enjoy looking at the sunset by myself, seeing and feeling the rain and hearing the thunder by myself, watching the clouds roll on and wandering if the sky could look more beautiful by myself....it was all beautiful and I got to appreciate the Lords work, just me and God. I loved that part of the week. But now being able to talk to Helen again and having my friend Brittany come visit and stay with me this weekend, and going for a drive with Chelsea made me even more thankful that the most beautiful thing about it all is that we can appreciate these things alone but we were made to be in relationships just like our relationship with the Lord and we dont have to be alone or do it all alone and boy is it a great thing.
thats all for now folks. yolo! :)
something that i do cherish though about being a part from people is being able to realize how much you do appreciate and love each individual for the special things they all bring into your life. just like when you are away at college and your family is what you miss most because of little things that while living there you always overlooked or took for granted. its cool and fun. of course nowadays we have all this glorious technology that still lets us be in touch with each other whenever we want, sometimes its a blessing, sometimes it works against us. i admit i enjoy it because lets be for real, probably wouldnt make it without it but sometimes i just want to be next to that person, have a real conversation sitting next to that person, not just be a text message that may or may not interrupt whatever that person is doing...sometimes i just dont enjoy it at all.
this past week helen went on a family vacation and we decided to not speak or text i guess you should say the whole time she was away. ok heres the thing, this is the person i see and talk to most in my days...so with that i knew it was going to be so hard but i figured it wouldnt be half bad because me and chels were going to road trip it to raleigh for a couple of days to see lydia so i knew my mind would at least be able to get away somewhere. of course there was divine intervention and our road trip got cancelled.
no babysitting jobs. no friends around. everyones at work. cut myself off from one tree hill haha. good news though I MADE IT! it was hard not to talk to helen but we both agreed that it made us both appreciate other a lot more and so that was cool. and while she was away i wanted to try and use that time to really focus on some things. before she left we had a couple conversations on making sure we were focusing our attention on the Lord and not just our friendship, something that we both can easily sway away from. also in the back of my mind that week I just kept thinking of what Chelsea might say, she has always been one to remind me to find joy in being still. So I just devoted a lot of my time to the Lord last week and just let Him speak to me in anything I happened to be doing that day.
I for once used my thoughts in a good way I guess you could say...I didnt allow them to work against me this time and it was cool. For me its easy to appreciate the good when I feel like the moment is perfect and a lot of the times when I am sharing it with someone I love. But this past week I got to enjoy looking at the sunset by myself, seeing and feeling the rain and hearing the thunder by myself, watching the clouds roll on and wandering if the sky could look more beautiful by myself....it was all beautiful and I got to appreciate the Lords work, just me and God. I loved that part of the week. But now being able to talk to Helen again and having my friend Brittany come visit and stay with me this weekend, and going for a drive with Chelsea made me even more thankful that the most beautiful thing about it all is that we can appreciate these things alone but we were made to be in relationships just like our relationship with the Lord and we dont have to be alone or do it all alone and boy is it a great thing.
thats all for now folks. yolo! :)
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