Real Life- Questions

I would have to say the last few days have been quite a whirlwind of emotions. Lately I have felt anxious and doubtful. I am constantly going back and forth on things in my mind, questioning everything around. Sometimes I just let it go and be a goofball to cover it up and sometimes I just clutter my brain with thoughts that have no where to go.

I have been feeling like I have done some backtracking in the last few days, back to the days where my trust in God was very little and where things just spun out of control because I felt like I couldn't control them and if I couldn't control them, then they just couldn't be controlled. I have been taking the drivers seat instead of God.

When I hear people say, well this is Gods plan, it has just become a statement that literally gets on my nerves because half the time it never seems definite. One minute it seems clear as day that God has plans in this direction and then the next minute we are on a whole new journey. What is that? Why cant he make up his mind is what I question. A lot of times I guess it gets to me because I feel like I have my  mind made up so why isn't he just by my side on this one. Huh, now theres a thought.

I know that all sounds ridiculous but lets be honest, we all think this at some point when things seem to hit the fan or hit a low.

Tonight I was driving back to school and let me just tell you that sunset was phenomenal, the colors just seemed to explode out of the clouds. It was crazy cool. Then as I was in awe of what was in front of me, Caroline stated the fact that it was crazy that our world was capable of such a thing, that when the sun is going down it is almost like it isn't go down without a battle (get it, colors exploding from the sky :P). But anyways, it was an out there statement but it just kind of resonated with me a bit because it was an interesting way to think about it. To be honest lately I have just had the same feeling in me, not going to go down without a battle.

I guess I am just trying to figure out what Gods plan is again in different areas of my life, it leaves me frustrated at times but I'm controlling and I just have to know things for sure. I had another friend of mine tell me that sometimes Gods plan means action, that we have to do our part as well and work for it. Like the sunset, sometimes we just have to go down with a fight and the beautiful thing as my friend Chelsea would always say is the sun will rise again tomorrow and everything will be ok.

Much love.